Catch a Glimpse – Part 2

What and How

Years later, and my definition of beauty continues to expand. God is not limited by human parameters, and He reliably reaches me through a myriad of mediums. I have a particular affinity for nature that was dormant for much of my life. In the present, God repeatedly shows up and meets me where I am (I’m often in nature, and He knows this).

Experiencing beauty is not a passive thing, nor is it an active consumption. I’ve found it to be more an act of surrender—an opening of oneself to what is. With that said, it’s much harder to find beauty at the DMV than it is in Glacier National Park. I love the way neurobiologist Dr. Curt Thompson encourages his audience to “place yourself in the path of oncoming beauty.”

God supplies the beauty, and there is participation on our part. We can meekly seek awe-inducing scenes. As we draw near to God, he promises to draw near to us (James 4:8). My wife and I frequent our local tide pools, and God repeatedly surprises us with new forms of beauty. It’s such a regular occurrence that I find myself anticipating wonder and awe before we even arrive. All I have to do is show up and let God lead me to Himself.

Wink Wink

Growing up (and to this day), my dad would routinely wink at me as a supplementary sign of affection. Despite it being nonverbal, I intuited its meaning and significance. The discretion of a wink allowed me to capture love directed at me alone.

When I encounter something of beauty, I get a similar sense, as if my Heavenly Father is winking at me. I can’t tell you how many times an octopus, harbor seal, sea turtle, osprey, dolphin, or blue whale (I love animals) has presented itself to be seen by me alone (or, more commonly, me and my wife). God sees us, and gives us the desires of our hearts. He often makes it a private-viewing, as if to wink and say, “here is a special gift, hand-picked for you.”

God provides me with beauty to show His love and care for me. Some times, it adds to the joy I already possess. Other times, it’s to let me know I’m not alone in hardship. No matter my circumstances, God is unwavering in his giving. All I have to do is surrender.

Beware the Humble Brag

I sincerely hope this post does not come across as bragging. I do not intend to send the message that I have achieved a heightened standing with God, and that status is due to my efforts.

I remember that God shows up in spite of my sin. I have done nothing to make myself worthy or deserving of His gifts of beauty. I wasn’t perfect when he made his presence known to me in the surf years ago, and I’m not perfect now.

Unhealthy coping, especially that which is chronic, can compromise our sensitivity to the good things God has for us. It’s not that Christmas didn’t happen this year—it’s that we didn’t show up. I chose sin over grace for so long (and I often still do), yet God awaits with open arms upon my return.

As Mark 1.0, and in my earlier phases of addiction recovery, I was largely motivated by fear. I wanted to run away from pain, and then run away from acting out. Of course, giving up destructive behaviors is part of the purification process. But if those coping methods are not replaced by healthy ones, we are doomed to return to them. We might even find a new, equally damaging addiction as a substitute for the old one. Pursuing and receiving beauty has been a means for me to fill the void left by the removal of an old habit. Instead of running away from something negative, the focus is to intentionally seek something positive.

As Mark 2.0, I want to be motivated by the good things God has in store for me.

Don’t Turn That Dial; We’ll Be Right Back

I will add a caveat here. There are times when I place myself in the realm of beauty, but I have a hard time receiving it. Preoccupation and anxiety can render me a bit callous. The reality is I am human and incapable of total emotional regulation around the clock. This may sound discouraging—the fact that beauty doesn’t always land—and it can certainly feel like a letdown when it happens.

A couple things on this. First, it’s been helpful for me to remember that God is constant. He will offer me the beauty regardless of my emotional state or how effectively I’m living out of truth. Second, I try to stay vigilant of stinkin’ thinkin’ when I struggle to experience beauty. Unhindered, my brain will tell me I’m wasting my time—I should have stayed home and watched Netflix. Maybe I’m not getting the result (awe and wonder) for which I was hoping. But how much more unregulated and wonky might I feel if I didn’t seek beauty at all? I’d say better to be a little sad looking at a waterfall than a lot sad in my pajamas at home.

Okay, carry on.

Cut Out the Middle Man

I’ll make it easy for you. Below are some photos my wife has taken. She has been adorned with an eye keen for nature’s beauty as well as the skill to capture it. I encourage you to take some time viewing the images. Allow yourself to be still and notice. Take in the nuances and appreciate the detail. How is God wanting to reveal himself to you? Maybe, just maybe, you’ll catch a glimpse.